Romel and Snatch rescue

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Ok here is the update. Apparently, I did not make the Top 100 in the Glow Girl contest. So, my video was not posted on the site no more. I think it's hate. Chris thinks my video was just not good enough to be in the top 100. I think J-Lo is racist, please. Period. With blood.

Please join the throw-down that is happening now on Livedaily.com. Sir Killyocattastic (AKA Romel) along with Snatch and some others have banded together to defend the Lady. He posted info on my Glow Girl diss, but people started attacking me instead of showing concern for my dismissal from the site.

First youtube, then J-Lo and now Livedaily.com.

Apparently, some people in that chat room/talk board think I am no longer funny and that the only funny thing I did was my Xtina phone call show. The lady is not "bland" as one ho called me. She is rich with jubillant brilliance and is a cornucopia of talent, skill and heft.

Why the hate?

Hello?

Glow!

-LR

Start voting!

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According to J-Lo's site Glowafterdarkshow.com, beginning January 30th, you can vote for my video and help me win a spot (one of eight, please) on the "webisodes" of J-Lo's new show, "Glow After Dark." I WILL say that they do this stupid thing of making you register before you vote. Do what i did (yes I did try to vote for myself, please) and put a bunch of fake information in the little boxes. Just type letters in the boxes with the stars next to them and get it done real quick so it don't take too long. Stupid of them to make people register to vote. Anyways, i just wanted to warn you about that before you go there. Please go vote now and help the Lady move forward in her career like Jennifer Hudson and help her become a Glow Girl!

Hello?

Glow!

-LR

550? You hate us, please?

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I am very sad. Only 550 people have downloaded Episode 66 (Baboon) so far. Why? Is it stupid? Is it not funny? Why have not more people downloaded it? I saw the number today and almost fell out my gown, please. This is absurd and wrong...and racist. Why are our numbers for the show DECLINING, please? Have we done soemthing wrong? Am I no longer funny? Is Chris too white? Did the Chocolate Cake contest not entertain you?

Remember, hos. Episode 80, we die. So get these numbers up before we do. Please repost them bulletins we send on myspace. Please tell yo friends about the show. Get more people to subscribe before the lady not only lets the podcast die, but let's herself slip back into an emotional coma from which there is no escape.

-LR

PS: I love you, please.

Tiki's New Year's Party

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(This post is an old one I found dated 1-2-07 on Lady's desktop. Hope you enjoy. -Chris)

So last night was the first night of the new year. As custom in our area, people throwed a second party that night. I went to a friend's house for a party, then left to go to another party at Tiki's house. Tiki asked why I was late and I told her I was at the other party. She got mad and asked me why I was going to two parties in one night. I explained to her the first party was throwed by my ex-manager, who I am trying to get in good with again. (He let me go after I did not show up for a gig. The gig was at a McDonalds. He neglected to tell me that before hand. I showed up at the address he gave me, saw it was a McDonalds and never went inside. I just left. How embarrassing.)

Tiki didn't care. She was mad at me. she got all up in my face, then started crying, then asked me to leave and finally...the final straw was she turned off the music and asked everyone ELSE to leave so she could kill me. Yes, she were drunk.

Everyone slowly filed out the room while Tiki loaded her gun. I sat on the snack table doing some nibbling before my execution. Tiki got her glock prepped and turned around to shoot me. Just then a tater tot got lodged in my throat. I coughed it out and it landed on her new leaopard print floor rug. He little dog ran right over and ate it. Tiki look at me. I look at tiki and we laughed. She put the gun down and told me she would not kill me after alll because I always make her laugh. We gave each other a big hug as the snow fell outside. I knew my friend and I would be friends forever and asked if I could shoot her dog. She said yes.

Happy New Year!

-LR

Episode 66: Baboon

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Episode 66: Vote for my video after January 30th on glowafterdarkshow.com, Monkey video is at 23,200 views please, suck my butthole Chris, we get props on itunes but Chris is not impressed, Chris gets a nice itunes comment and I share a voice mail message with him, Chocolate Cake dating game: the final week, Hidea Roach and Daisy, serious news for the Lady, itunes comment says Lady Raptastic represents all black women, I am "Endless Love", I will enter the radio contest, trampoline trauma and lady parts in peril, Chris compares me to a baboon, golf, Chris loves the weed, cake plate is a cakeplate not a brand of tampons, racism is ugly, poor people irritate Chris in the road, I will damage your Pinto, is my bowels red

The Lady Raptastic Show
Podcast: itunes or RSS
Videocast: Youtube
Lovely Lady Line: 912-228-5952
Website: Ladyraptastic.com
Vote for us: Digg and Podcast Alley and ilike and Podcast Pickle


Copy and paste this blog entry and bulletin it for us, ho:
<br><object enableJSURL="false" enableHREF="false" saveEmbedTags="true" allowScriptAccess="never" allownetworking="internal" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" data="http://www.podcastpickle.com/media/podPlayer/pcpp.swf?URI=http://markbaratelli.hipcast.com/deluge/541725c4-e7be-6102-b368-3f4a938e5410.mp3&instantLoad=0" height="30" width="300" align="middle"><br /> <param name="movie" value="http://www.podcastpickle.com/media/podPlayer/pcpp.swf?URI=http://markbaratelli.hipcast.com/deluge/541725c4-e7be-6102-b368-3f4a938e5410.mp3&instantLoad=0" /><br /> <param name="allownetworking" value="internal" /><br /> <param name="allowScriptAccess" value="never" /><br /> <param name="enableJSURL" value="false" /><br /> <param name="enableHREF" value="false" /><br /> <param name="saveEmbedTags" value="true" /><br /> <param name="quality" value="high" /><br /> <param name="bgcolor" value="#000000" /><br /></object><br><b>Episode 66:</b> <br>Vote for my video after January 30th on glowafterdarkshow.com, Monkey video is at 23,200 views please, suck my butthole Chris, we get props on itunes but Chris is not impressed, Chris gets a nice itunes comment and I share a voice mail message with him, Chocolate Cake dating game: the final week, Hidea Roach and Daisy, serious news for the Lady, itunes comment says Lady Raptastic represents all black women, I am "Endless Love", I will enter the radio contest, trampoline trauma and lady parts in peril, Chris compares me to a baboon, golf, Chris loves the weed, cake plate is a cakeplate not a brand of tampons, racism is ugly, poor people irritate Chris in the road, I will damage your Pinto, is my bowels red<br><br><i>The Lady Raptastic Show</i><br><b>Podcast:</b> <a href="http://phobos.apple.com/WebObjects/MZStore.woa/wa/viewPodcast?id=160164780">itunes</a> or <a href="http://feeds.feedburner.com/Ladyraptasticho">RSS</a><br><b>Videocast:</b> <a href="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7tm44KPSqiE">Youtube</a><br><b>Lovely Lady Line:</b> 912-228-5952<br><b>Website:</b> <a href="http://www.ladyraptastic.com">Ladyraptastic.com</a><br><b>Vote for us:</b> <a href="http://digg.com/podcasts/Lady_Raptastic_Podcast_Crazy_Insane_Comedy">Digg</a> and <a href="http://podcastalley.com/podcast_details.php?pod_id=42995">Podcast Alley</a> and <a href="http://www.ilike.com/user/lady_raptastic">ilike</a> and <a href="http://www.podcastpickle.com/users/ladyraptastic/profile/">Podcast Pickle</a> <br>

Episode 65: Dreamgirl

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Episode 65 Show Notes:
Call us on the Lovely Lady line: 1-912-CAT-LYKA and leave a message, Sir Killyocattastic leaves a message, We are on coffee, Lady thinks white people are retarded, Chris thinks if you act black you are retarded and if you are black and in Africa you are running around like an animal, lion head on a man, tapping on my shoulder, be our guest, shruster, news on my monkey suicide video and youtube, chocolate cake contest WEEK THREE, eating eggs with a fork, we smoke from Curt's hookah pipe, my audition for Dreamgirls, I sing a few lines from And I am Telling You, a final voicemail message froma girl who likes the Judge Judy episode.

The Lady Raptastic Show
Podcast: itunes or RSS
Videocast: Youtube
Lovely Lady Line: 912-228-5952
Website: Ladyraptastic.com
Vote for us: Digg and Podcast Alley and ilike and Podcast Pickle

Copy and paste this blog entry and bulletin it for us, ho:
<br /><object classid="clsid:d27cdb6e-ae6d-11cf-96b8-444553540000" codebase="http://download.macromedia.com/pub/shockwave/cabs/flash/swflash.cab#version=7,0,0,0" width="300" height="30" id="pcpp" align="middle"><br /><param name="allowScriptAccess" value="sameDomain" /><br /><param name="movie" value="http://www.podcastpickle.com/media/podPlayer/pcpp.swf?URI=http://markbaratelli.hipcast.com/deluge/d5b9cc6e-e4f8-225c-18d2-f31fa53b5017.mp3&instantLoad=0&instantPlay=0" /><br /><param name="quality" value="high" /><br /><param name="bgcolor" value="#000000" /><br /><embed src="http://www.podcastpickle.com/media/podPlayer/pcpp.swf?URI=http://markbaratelli.hipcast.com/deluge/d5b9cc6e-e4f8-225c-18d2-f31fa53b5017.mp3&instantLoad=0" quality="high" bgcolor="#000000" width="300" height="30" name="pcpp" align="middle" allowScriptAccess="sameDomain" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" pluginspage="http://www.macromedia.com/go/getflashplayer" /><br /></object><br /><br /><b>Episode 65 Show Notes:</b><br />Call us on the Lovely Lady line: 1-912-CAT-LYKA and leave a message, Sir Killyocattastic leaves a message, We are on coffee, Lady thinks white people are retarded, Chris thinks if you act black you are retarded and if you are black and in Africa you are running around like an animal, lion head on a man, tapping on my shoulder, be our guest, shruster, news on my monkey suicide video and youtube, chocolate cake contest WEEK THREE, eating eggs with a fork, we smoke from Curt's hookah pipe, my audition for Dreamgirls, I sing a few lines from And I am Telling You, a final voicemail message froma girl who likes the Judge Judy episode.<br /><br /><i>The Lady Raptastic Show</i><br /><b>Podcast:</b> <a href="http://phobos.apple.com/WebObjects/MZStore.woa/wa/viewPodcast?id=160164780">itunes</a> or <a href="http://feeds.feedburner.com/Ladyraptasticho">RSS</a><br><b>Videocast:</b> <a href="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7tm44KPSqiE">Youtube</a><br><b>Lovely Lady Line:</b> 912-228-5952<br><b>Website:</b> <a href="http://www.ladyraptastic.com">Ladyraptastic.com</a><br><b>Vote for us:</b> <a href="http://digg.com/podcasts/Lady_Raptastic_Podcast_Crazy_Insane_Comedy">Digg</a> and <a href="http://podcastalley.com/podcast_details.php?pod_id=42995">Podcast Alley</a> and <a href="http://www.ilike.com/user/lady_raptastic">ilike</a> and <a href="http://www.podcastpickle.com/users/ladyraptastic/profile/">Podcast Pickle</a> <br />

I glow for J-Lo

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I entered the J-Lo "Be a Glow Girl" contest with a very good video and they posted it on the official website. Please go watch my video entry at glowafterdarkshow.com. The voting begins AFTER January 30th. Put it on yo calendar. Put it in yo phone. Remember to vote or I will lose. I also put the video on youtube. If you want to share it with friends, you can go there and snatch it fo yoself and yo friends. I am glowing on the inside for you, ho.

-LR

Itunes FEATURES my show!

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Congratulate me please, ho. Itunes put me on the front page of the Performing Arts section of they podcast listings! Yes, please view the graphic above and feast yo eyes on my little pink box! I am so over the moon I can barely hold my glass of Inglenook. I called Tiki. She do not even know what itunes is. Dumb ho. I called my Momma. She yelled at me for even having the podcast still going in the first places. So I am celebrating alone, with my Inglenook, staring at the page.

Please go to itunes NOW and leave me a comment. The more comments I have on my page, the more small children in Nicaragua are brought in from the cold. It's true. I signed up for that program when I put my podcast on itunes.

This is big people. Today the front page of the itunes Performing Arts section, tomorrow...opening for Ray J!

-LR

17,723 Views, ho!

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Please grab yo trumpets and hark the harolds. I have some news please.

Chris came down from his crystal meth high long enough to go on youtube and check the "stats" of my lovely Monkey suicide video. Click here to see that this video has gotten 17,723 views on Youtube and over 100 comments on i-am-bored.com. Please read the comments on i-am-bored. They are very funny. And big props to Kimm for sticking up for me in the midst of the storm. I appreciate yo love and it will come back to you tenfold.



Copy/paste the following code to share this Lady Raptastic news:
<br />Chris came down from his crystal meth high long enough to go on youtube and check the "stats" of my lovely Monkey suicide video. Click here to see that this video has gotten <a href="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RGvDcJNOL3o">17,723 views on Youtube</a> and <a href="http://i-am-bored.com/forums.asp?page_num=1&action=read&q_id=21425&ct=10">over 100 comments on i-am-bored.com</a>. Please read the comments on i-am-bored. They are very funny. And <i>big props to Kimm</i> for sticking up for me in the midst of the storm. I appreciate yo love and it will come back to you tenfold. <br />

Be a Beyonce backup dancer

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"A nationwide talent search for dancers fleet-footed enough to back up Beyonce Knowles came to the pop diva's hometown as hundreds turned out to audition for 40 open slots.

The would-be performers took turns Saturday moving through choreographed routines to such Beyonce hits as Deja Vu, while cameras recorded their footwork and choreographer Frank Gaston studied their style.

Houston was the third location in the cross-country search, following auditions in Atlanta and Los Angeles. After two more stops, in New York and Chicago, Gaston and Beyonce will review the tapes.

There will be 30 finalists from each city. The finalists get a trip to either New York or Los Angeles, where the numbers will be pared to the final 40.

The selected dancers will earn $1,500 to $3,000 a week and get extensive exposure at Beyonce's performances, said Gaston, who choreographs Beyonce's videos and has worked with En Vogue and Toni Braxton."

(Source, Source)

Lovely Lady line returns, HO!

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Long ago (last year) I had the Lovely Lady Line. Listeners to the podcast could call in and leave messages and then I would play (some of) them on day show. Well, the line got cut off because of many reasons I will not go into at this (Morris Day and the) time. But, I am pleased to make an anouncement that it is back! We have a new number. So program it into yo cell phone and call us whenever you want:

(912) 228-5952

-LR

Listen at me sang, ho

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Dis me sangin on a website called Singshot.com. It's very neat. I chose to sing the classic "Always" by Atlantic Starr. My parents would turn that sh** up and make love for hours to it when I was eleven. They'd play it on repeat and I would listen to them in my bedroom, watching Nickelodeon. Neightbors would complain, Grandma would smoke, and I would just laugh to myself thinking "One day, my love making will be that wondeful."

-LR

Oprah stampeed lawsuit

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"CHICAGO (AP) - A woman has sued Oprah Winfrey's studio, alleging she was injured in a rush for seats during a taping of the talk show host's syndicated TV show.

Tayna Milner said she was pushed down stairs between a waiting area and audience seating at Harpo Studios on April 11, according to the lawsuit filed in Cook County Circuit Court.

Her lawsuit accuses the studio in Chicago's West Loop neighbourhood of failing to properly control the crowd, which caused Milner to fall and suffer unspecified injuries, the Chicago Tribune reported on its Web site.

Milner is seeking more than US$50,000 in damages." (Source, Source)

I know what you are thinking. Yes, it was me. I was right behind her. I did the pushing. But thank God a woman with baby was right behind me. I jumped behind her and ran before Mrs. Milner could turn around and see her pushed her. I knocked the baby down too. She didn't cry as much as Milner did. She a ho.

-LR

Shawna ain't all that, ho.

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You ever feel as though the people you respect do not respect you? And they won't say it? This is the case with me and Shawna. She has her own dry cleaning business and I admire her for it. She is like her own one-woman "Jeffersons." She took her broke self from selling t-shirts out of the back of her son's car to owning her own dry cleaning shop called "Shawna's Hut." She makes enough money to have her own car, a very well-decorated apartment and can afford to take vacations. Ho.

Tonight I had dinner with her. She was all smiles and laughter until the topic of "me" came up. When I old her I was working in a Christian sex shop part time and babysitting the rest of the time, she put her fork down and gave me a lecture on life. I do not like to be lectured, but I listened. After all, you never know if you might learn something. She talked, I listened and time ticked by.

Finally, I had had enough of her "Why don't you get yo life in order?" and "Why are you waiting for a man to come rescue you?" so I stood up and left. I just walked out. Left her with the check. She can afford it. Ho. I took her number off speed dial on my cell and we will not be talking again.

In other news, I stole a box of ham balls and plan to serve them at my church's New Year's week celebration Sunday.

-LR

Eat the cupcake, Jill

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Glow Girl Video Contest

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I entered the J-Lo Glow Girl Video Contest.

Watch the video above or Click here, ho, to watch the video on youtube.

-LR

Everio video Contest

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Did you ever see my entry in the Everio Camera Video contest I made back in December? Watch it Now!

Episode 63: Tongue Twister

Listen:


Episode 63 Show Notes:
Monkey Suicide, We want to be a cracker, Manuelle gains weight and needs the word of the day for his Denver vacation, Chocolate Cake Hook-Em-Up Dating Game, perverts, don't be your parents' friend, announcing the return of ladyraptastic.com, Gilligan's Island attempt number two, tongue twisters, praying mantis, secret body compartment, black code words, Chris will never be black, Curt from Iraq offers us a hookah without residue, Episode 62 was not offensive so shut up, Shout outs

Download:
Episode 63.mp3

Bam Bam's video response

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Bam Bam left a very touching video response to our monkey suicide video. Click on the box above and be whisked like eggs at IHOP to the video. He speaks for the dogs.

-LR