Marie & Carlie
Podcast in itunes * Videocast * Myspace * Badges
I just check my mail. I been gone a month. Do not ask. I have polio. There I said it.
Marie (a myspace top friend) asks this:
What do you think about breakfast cereal that is made to tase like popular brand cereal, but it is a little bit different and tastes the same. For example: Starry Marshmallows is very much like Lucky Charms. Crispy Rice: Rice Crispies. I think that they taste the same at least they are close enough that I can't tell the difference. It is much more affordable to by the lesser known brand too. Should I be label concious with my cereal?The answer Marie is yes. we have all known since little babies that NO one wants to eat that half-priced cereal. Do you walk up to a ugly man and go get on up on him just cuz he is "very much like" a real man? No. Then why would you eat something that isn't what it say it is. That fake cereal is fake and not real. We all learned that you must judge a book by it's cover. These 5 pound bags of cereal look like kibble for rabbits, while the colorful, quality-packaged and delightfully designed boxes of real cereal gleam in the grocery store light. That cereal respect itself, ho. Eat that and not that fake junk. Spend the extra money cuz like Clairol say, "You worths it."
I received another email of interest. Please read...
Lady, i don't know if you know of a woman by the name of Carly Simon, but she sang a song entitled "Your so Vain". i would very much appreciate it if you could proform a rendition of this classic songI know who Carly Simon is. When my Momma was dating a white man (do not judge) way back in the day, he'd take me and my Momma to the park to see her perform. They'd wrap themselves in a blanket and shove hole while I sat there freezing to the bone staring at Carly Simon and her big, big, big mouth. (He had good tickets so we was up close). During the concert, she were singing a song called "I haven't got time for the pain" (and who do, really?) when she noticed my mother and this white man grabbin chocolate underneath a now-stained white blanket. She stop the show and walk off stage. About two minutes later police was carrying me and my Mom and that man out of the premesis. My Mom didn't have time to put her dress back on and they confiscated the blanket for sampling. She had to walk nude from the front row of the Carly Simon concert down the middle aisle. There were about 400 rows, too. Carly refused to start her song again until we left. People were booing us and throwing lobster bibs and candy corn at us. I had enough at one point and yelled "This ain't a war! They just love each other!"
Carly must have heard me cuz she started singing again, but as she sang, she started singing new lyrics to her song. She called me up onstage! My Mom called for me to come, but she were naked, handcuffed and covered in coffee grinds. I ran up on stage and me and Carly finished off a 12 song set. For the finale she asked me if I knew Amazing Grace and I said no. She asked me why and I said because I was not allowed to listen to Shirley Bassey records in my house. She laughed and the concert ended.
I will sing for you ho if I can remember on my next show. God only knows when that will be. I am so busy these days getting polio from hanburgers undercooked at McDondalds that I have not set foot near a microphone cuz i might yack up my stomach all over it.
Polio is stupid.
