Podcast 20: My Myspace Survey--This is the myspace survey in which I share my deepest darkest myspace survey thoughts. This myspace survey was made apparent to me by a myspace survey sender named Chocolate Cake.
Listen to Podcast 20: My myspace profile:
Download Podcast 20- My Myspace Survey
I cut out the dumb questions and left the ones worth answering. And go see my myspace profile and leave me a comment, ho. And if you ain't a friend, then just ask, ho. Just ask.1) Are your parents married or divorced?They were never married but that don't mean nothin so do not judge and move on to the next question please. And besides what kind of question is that? How does that make a diffference in who somebody end up being? Just cuz they never married don't mean nothing so shut up and go on to the next question, ho.
2) Vegetarian?No, I am Christian. Though I do not discriminate or hate, just propigate da love for all peoples.
4) Come close to dying? Yes. An old white woman hit me with her car causing me to be completely incapacitated from da neck down. I have worked through the pain and can now walk and talk again. I am currently
trying to get on Judge Judy... not to sue the lady, but because she is suing me and I want to be on the tv! See, I messed up her car real good cuz I am a big girl.
5) What jewelry do you wear 24/7?A ring I stole from this dying lady. She was choking in a Burger King. I grabbed her, gave her the heimlick and snatched her ring. She should just be grateful I saved her life. I took the ring as payment. Do not judge.
6) Are you eating?Yes. I have a strawberry cake by Little Debbie on one hand, a gallon of lemon ice tea on the coffee table, a box of Girl Scout cookies (I got them early from a dealer) in the cupboard and a root beer in my other hand. And Regis and Kelly about to be on...my life is blessed.
9) Were you usually the dumper or the dumpee in your past relationships?I do not discuss my bowel movements.
10) Would you ever have plastic surgery?Yes I would love to get my breasts enlarged.
11) What do you wear to bed?I wear a blue nightgown with two bluebirds in flight on the front. The sleeves are ruffled and I have slippers to match, made of blue terry cloth. I found it in a Conway on sale for $3 in an after-Xmas sale. I had to swipe it from the bin just before this other lady got to it. Big sizes on sales is hard to come by.
12) Have you ever done anything illegal?I knew this white girl name Katrina back in da day. She had this long hair and big ol hairsprayed-up bangs. She always had a bow in her hair. One day she drop it without noticing in the hallway. I seen it fall off her & just walk on without it. I scooped it up, planning on givin it the snatch. But I looked at it. It had writings on it.
"World's Best daughter"
Ooh girl I got all sad and start thinkin bout my Daddy. He died awhiles back. If I had anything like this to remember him by girl, I would kill to keep it. So instead of snatchin it, I ran up to her down the hallways and told her she drop it.
"You stole it didn't you?" she yell at me.
I calmly and collectedly tole her no and tried to explain . She did not believe me. She go on about I always stealing thing from people and I need to be arrested and put in juvie. (Back in the day i was a bit of the cleptomaniacal). She had her point. Again I calmly tole her if I had a bow like this, from my Dad, who died, I'd want it. She tole me I probably killed my dad.
It was on. I grapped her long hair and body slammed that chick onto a couch near the principal office. I took that bow and ran down the hallway screamin "This one for you Daddy! This one for you!"
The school police caught me and I went to juvie for a month. They caught me cuz that day I wore flip flops and couldn't get over that fence behind the school. From that day on I vowed to never wear flip flops again. But every summer since then they come out with these super-cheap flip flops for sale all over the place. They real junky, but cheap. When a pair wear out, I just wear them to the store, buy a new pair and throw the old pair away.
I saw Katrina when i got back from juvie. She ask me if the thing about my Dad was true. I said yeah and I did not kill him. She apologizes. We end up becomin friends for the rest of the year. And you know what? (Oooh my eyes are gettin squishy from thinkin bout it) One day she come up at me with a box. I open it up and there was a bow inside. It said "World's Best Daughter"! Mmm I have to got to cry now y'all.
18) Future child's name?Morgan Andromeda Labeaisha Tikki Rochelle Demonstrative Eclesiastica Butrellia Demonte'
and if it's a boy....
Rayquan D'Lelle Omarion Rico O'nante' Wally (my grandad's name) Equestriante'
19) Do you snore?Yes. I use one of those breathing machines I have to wear over my face so oxygen does not leave my bodies and I die. It's called Sleep Apnea. I got it and girl that machine is a life saver.
20) If you could go anywhere in the world on a vacation, where would u go?France. I'd sit on top of the eiffel Tower and throw breadcrumbs to the pidgeons. Then I'd go eat a bagel at a outdoor cafe where a tall French man named Bill would sit down with me for a three hour conversation on Mariah and her Golden Globes dress. He'd take me back to his crib and we'd Le get it Le on until the break of Le dawn.
21) Do you sleep with stuffed animals?Yes. When I sleep in my car. That's where I keep them. Sometimes I can't drive home from da club so I have to sleep in my trunk until the morning. I got me about twenty stuffed animals there. They're all zebras.
24) Hamburger or hot dog.Hot dog...A long thick frank to chomp on while walkin down the street listenin to music.
25) If you could only eat one food for the rest of your life, what would you choose?Funyuns.
28) Where do you eat?Anywhere I want to: bus, subway, car, mcdonalds, Sears, my bathroom...
29) When's the last time you cried?When I got the 40th call from that comunity theater that hates me.
30) Have you loved somebody so much it made you cry?yes..my old boyfriend Doo Doo. I did a podcast about him
here!
31) Would you ever go out dressed like the opposite sex?Yes and I have. I went to a job interview dressed as a lesbian and got the job. it was for this canning job at a factory. I stayed there frot wo months before I...got canned! Haha!
32) Ever been involved with the police?Um....need you ask boo?
34) Do you talk in your sleep?I can't talk with that machine all over my face. But one time an old roomate, before I got the snore machine, said she heard me singing "The Greates Love of All" in Spanish. And i do not even know Spanish.
44) How long does your shower lasts?20 minutes. I like to breathe in the steam and let the water get all up inside my pores and wash around. Then I take me one of them loofahs on a stick (mine is purple) and give me a good scrubbing. When I am done I like to air dry, so i will go walk to the couch sopping wet and lay down until I am "done." It's a leather couch so sometime I stick to it.
66) last kiss?I kissed this lady on the forehead cuz she was crying. She was a friend of mine. We ain't lesbians.
Click on da links to below to be transported into the world of Lady Raptastic, ho:
