NEWSFLASH

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(Chris posted a story about me making a video about monkey suicide, and I would like to elaborate and clear some things up. I, being a woman of truth and honesty, need to set the record straight about this matter.)

I was at a Perkins with Tiki and a man recognized me from a performance I gave at the "Celebrate the Holidaze" Christmas pagent held in the parking lot of the burned down Jewish temple two blocks from my house. He said he enjoyed my rap stylings and asked if I would be interested in writing some material for his charity that works to prevent monkey suicide. I never hearded of such a thing. I gasped. Tiki asked if I was ok and I said no so she went to the waitress to call the ambulance. I could hear her from my booth so I screamed "Do not call the ambulance please Tiki! I am ok. Come sit down here and eat your pot roast please!"

The man chuckled at the whole scene and I look up at him and asked what he thought was so funny. I was completely embarrassed that Tiki would do that. He said I was colorful. I thought that was racist so i got up, shoved him over on top of a table next to us where a couple was eating. He fell on they food and then onto the lap of the man. Tiki asked me if we should leave and I said yes.

We paid our bill before we left (thank you please) and left. The man had given me his card, so the next day I called him. Apparently, he has cervical cancer and if he so much as leans backwards, it makes the cancer worse and causes his number of days left of living to decrease. According to his doctor, when I pushed him onto the table, I removed a month from his life span. So now I am in debt to him to record this song for his monkey suicide charity. And so I did. But you know, the cause has begun to grow on my heart like an enlarged tumor grows on a vital organ.

Chris talked about a video and all that mess. We gonna see about all that. For now, I will write the song. Cervical cancer man has been hounding me to do more work for him, and not the dirty sweaty naked kind, but the kind that involves more writing.

Ok. Now you know the full story from the mouth of the horse mouth. Thank you for listening.

-LR