Article from Episode 55

Podcast * Videocast * Myspace * Digg Me * Badges

A Goliath Predicament

A Christian wrestling association in South Georgia may have crucified their chances at scoring a television contract with NBC. According to attending spectators at a recent "Jesus Smack Down," Christian wrestler "Anal Cock-storm," who is usually the good guy, purportedly inserted a flat iron into the rectum of his opponent, "Moses," while in the ring.

Cock-storm firmly rejected the claims Monday, releasing a statement saying that such an abominable act had surely never taken place, and that the evidence would surely prove otherwise. Of course, the 6 wide-angle production cameras, 20 plus press agents, and over 5,000 spectators would have to disagree. As ticket holder Clinton Bloom states it, "I saw someone hand him a flat iron. I thought, 'no way is he going to use that on Moses', but then, he used it on him. Hard." Mary Thompson had a different perspective, "I thought it was all part of the act! I enjoyed it from start to finish."

Spokesperson for the wrestling organization, George Callwell, called the spectacle, "Putrid and ungodly." However, at a press conference on Wednesday, George seemed to take a lighter approach to the situation by comically using the phrase "stick in the mud" at least half a dozen times. What does the future hold for this high holy wrestling group? Not much can be predicted, but what is obvious is the dashing dreams that have been seemingly raped from their midst.

(possibly written by Chris)