Tyra & Nicole: hos

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Tyra and Nicole
Have you seent this video of them shopping? It is absurd. They filming a episode of The Tyra talk show with Nicole as a guest. I guess Tyra wanted to see what it was like walking around with all them cameramen clickin away. So they went shopping and sure enough, the cameramen swarmed in. They filmed the tv show while all the people was snappin photos. So, the cameramen became the star of her show, and she didn't even pay them! Work that stuff OUT Tyra.

Shayla and her burrito
I had a bean and nut burrito yesterday at "Burr-Eat-To" which be this hot little place where all the white people come and eat. I have a white friend named Shayla, and Shayla invited me to eat there with her after she got her tubes tied at a place a couple blocks away. She was tired so I had to carry her from the tubes-tyin place to the burrito place, but it was all good. she paid for my lunch! (I wish I would have knowd that she were goin to do that before I ordered. I would have ordered more.) But, once she paid the bill I politely screamed for the waiter and ordered some fried ice cream and a chocolate whale. The chocolate whale is something they only sell for specials occasions, and since she got her tubes tied and she was paying, it was special. It costs $45 and comes in a bright pink box. The lights dim, the waiters come out and clap and a full mariachi band sings yo favorite song. Well, your favorite song in Spanish. I asked them if they knew "Tell it to My Heart" by Taylor Dayne, and they DID!

As I carried shayla out to the bus stop, she told me she really wished I had not ordered the chocolate whale. I dropped her and walked onto the bus. Left her for dead.

I am a lonely woman
Today I woke up and wanted to turn around and go back to sleep. Ain't no reason to get up. I am jobless. Yes, I lost my job I had for a month picking lobsters out of the tuna nets on a boat that sells them to Perkins. I'd come home every night feeling so good about myself for working so hard in the hot, hot sun, that I started to really enjoy my life. A window had opened and it was all because of this job. And then I showed up split-haired drunk and they fired me. They not only fired me, they had me escorted off the boat. I was cursing and yelling and I made them drag me up the stairs, across the deck and onto the dock, where they laid me down just as the boat sailed off. The two men who carried me hopped back on the boat. One of them was my boyfriend, my job boyfriend anyways, Toots.

Toots and me met because we got hired the same day. We was talkin in the lobby of the Perkins Fishery Human Resources Building on the Perkins Industries Campus, a huge 300 acre place out in the middle of nowhere. We had to take a bus, then a train, then be lifted by air craft (it wasn't no plane and it wasn't no helicopter. I'd never seen anything like it before until that day. I will just say it were a aircraft and leave it at that).

As we waited to be interviewed, I dropped my pencil and he picked it up. I said thank you and he said "Anytime, Luscious." I giggle and told him to give me at his number, so he did. He handed me a scrap of paper, actually it were a napkin. And on the back of the napkin was blood. I asked him what it was and he said he didn't know. he found the napkin onthe street and used it when he needed to blow his nose. I said, "Is this your blood?" He said no and I smiled, put it in my purse and kept on talking, while inching my legs opener and opener, so he could see the inside of my thighs. I had jeans on, but mens can still get turned on by the sight of the inside of a woman's thighs. Am I right, men, please?

He got called in first and his interview took ten minutes. I timed it. Then I went in. An hour later I came out crying. But he was gone. Gone, except for another piece of that bloody napkin which he left up on his chair where he was sittin in. It said "Call me, please, Luscious."

I did, we got crunk and then we was workin together. I would say it was akward but it was not. It was heaven. I really thought I was turning my life around. One night after a card game with my neighbors, a drink with the lady next door and a nice long dog walk with Tiki and her new Puppy named "Alamo," I laid down on my couch, covered myself with a bag of Chips Ahoy and watched tv for seven hours. When I woke up, I said to myself, "This be the life, ho. This be the life."

And now I am fired.

Greener grass is only across the fence right? I am smiling, Lord. I am smiling.

-LR