Ring!

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Ring a ding ding
I got a new pearl ring today with a store credit card. It cost $800 and it is so fine. I took it over to my friend Caroline's house and she was all "It's fake! It's fake!" I told her it wasn't and showed her the receipt. Ain't nothing fake that costed $800, am I right?

She shut her face and we went on a joy ride through her neighborhood on her rickshaw. Yes, she has a rickshaw, ho. A real live Asian rickshaw she bought on ebay for $500. She takes it instead of the bus sometimes, when she can find a homeless man to pull her a** around. Today we found one after only ten minutes of hunting. He went slow, but we only paid him $5 to take us ten miles, so what do you expect?

We went riding all around the neighborhood, up and down backstreets and alleyways, drankin the whole time. It's technically ain't drankin and driving if someone else is pullin. A cop did stop us to ask if we had a license for the homeless man. We said we didn't know we needed to have one, so the cop pulled the homeless man out of the shackles and took him away. We was stuck there with no one to pull us.

Caroline look at me. "Oh hell no,ho." She flashed a ten dollar bill.

I was hauling her down the main street back home quicker than you can say horse. Shoot, for ten dollars I have done worser things. Okaaay!?

-LR