Lindsay Lohan: rehab

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843 visitors today on my myspace blog!
What is you people doing? Where did you find me? Am I on tv? When do I get the paycheck cuz all these people could be payin my electric bill or something. Shoot. Speaking of visiting, I hope you like my new myspace blog design. It's crazy but I like it. My friend did it. He nasty. Sometime he whisper thangs in my ears on the bus that make me laugh so hard I fart. Then people start looking at me and I yell at them to stop they lookin and then I tell them what he told me. It's always nasty so they always get offended and ask to be let off at the next stop. Hos.

Naked girls
I am so sick of seeing half-naked and fully-naked girls wearing sweaters and hiding behind pillows. They on magazines, on tv, on line and just everywhere. Why do a girl feel she has to be naked to get attention? Are we that retarded? Please. I can see talent when I see it, but when I see thigh-high boots, hands over naked t***ies, a dirty smile and hair hanging down like a bad Carmen Electra wig, I turn the other way. Please. Naked girls is stupid.

Lindsay Lohan on crack
This girl is going to be dead in one year. Mark my words. She is going to end up on crack along Hollywood Blvd with white puffy ooze draining from her nose and a pack of Virginia Slims in her fist... just like Aretha Franklin. When she died, I cried for three days. Not many people know she is dead. She keeps "makin appearances," but my friend Trinnka showed me this website that got photos of her giant body dead cold on a examination table with a teddy bear on the table to the right. She died cuz, and I ain't trying to be funny, from choking on her own neck fat. She was asleep one night on her tour bus and the fat on her neck just got to be too heavy, and caused her neck to cave in. She died peacefully, but not before choking for twelve hours, according to the corroner's report. And when Keanu Reeves died, I cried as well. He was so handsome, but then when he got retarded on that horse and had to blow a tube to move around I stopped liking him. But then when he died I felt bad for not liking him for being retarded, so I liked him again. But it were too late. He was dead. and retarded.

Nicole Kidman's fake nose
I watched a movie at friend's house tonight. It had Nicole Kidman in it and she played a woman who was dispressed with a fake plastic nose on. I loved it. She is so talented. Why did she marry that ugly country singer with the lady haircut? Men do not need to be getting no blonde stripes up in they hairs. That's, well...not straight acting ok? I won't go there cuz the alternative lifestlye is just fine by me, but if you marring Nicole Kidman, please be straight. One gay ex-husband is enough okaaaaay!?

-LR