A garden grows

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I had a wonderful night tonight, despite the rain and my bleeding knee. I fell on a piece of cactus at a botanical flower show this afternoon I was attending with my friend Domino and his parapalegic brother, Tony. I was walking through the desert zone minding my business, when Tony came zooming through on his moped. He can't walk, and thinks wheelchairs are for sissies, so this doctor from Hong Kong built him a special parapalegic moped that can do 60...all Tony has to do is blow in a tube and type on a keyboard.

I was bent over smelling a desert rose, thinking in my mind back to when I was ten and was raising flowers in my Grandma's backyard. I'd walk out every morning to water tham thangs, talk to them thangs and sing them thangs songs. I remember one time this neighboor overheard me sanging and asked if I wanted to lemonade. I walk over to his house and he brought out atray of lemonade...naked. I drank the lemonade (it were free) and started to run out of his backyard. He called out to me but I kept running. A second later I was swooped up into a net and hanging limp fifty feet in the air. My neighboor walked underneath me and said he warned me about running. I asked him to let me go, but he just sipped his lemonade and sang an opera aria in Spanish.

Even though I was ten, I was packin. So I pulled my glock out from my underoo panties and shot him square in the top of the head. He fell to the ground on top of his glass of lemonade. The glass shards punctured him.

I took aim at the knot holding the net up in the air, fired and missed. I fired again and missed. I checked the barrel: one bullet left. Just then I heard my Momma callin me from next door. I couldn't let her know what predicament I had gotten myself into, so I stayed silent. She stopped calling for me and went inside. I waited...I waited for three whole days. Well, I was scared I'd get in trouble for goin into the neighboor's yard! Do not judge.

One night my mom burst out the backdoor screamin my name. She were drunk and holding a can of lighter fluid. She was hysterical. "Where's my baby!? Where is she!?" A man came out the back door behind her. Who was he? I'd never seen him before.

"Shut yo face and get back inside. It's snowing, girl."

Yes, it was snowing. I was hanging in a tree in a net while snow fell on me, freezing m y body solid cold. Soon, I froze to the point where I could not move my body and ice began to form on me. This was the best thing that could have happened, because the ice added ectra weight to the net, which caused it to creak under pressure. I didn't move and let the ice collect and collect. Finally, I was completely inside a block of ice shaped like my huddled body. I could hear the net slowly creaking and bending under the weight. Just then the net snapped, releasing me from my high tomb. I hit the ground and the ice broke off me like a frozen afterbirth. I actually did not hit the ground. I hit my dead neighboor. He was completely frozen, and his face was in a permanent state of shock: eyes al bulged and mouth all oven and frozen with white icicles.

My arms were frozen solid but my legs could move. So I dragged myself across the lawn by using my legs to pull me forward, very slowly. Six hours later, I got the backdoor of my house. I screamed for my Momma. She came running out, didn't see me, and stepped right on my stomach, crushing my ribs and my pancreas. My skin was so frozen-brittle by that time, her foot actualy went through my skin and into my rib cage. Her foot got stuck there like if you step on a pumpkin and walk around trying ot get the pumpin off. She walked around with me wrapped around her foot, trying to pry her foot out from my guts. No luck.

She callled her man friend who callled 911. We were transported in the emergency vehicle as one entity: her foot in me and my body frozen in pain.

Three hours later, we were sperated, like siamese babies. The surgery was a success except one of her toes grafted onto my rib and had to be cut off. The toe had to stay on my rib when they closed me up for safety reasons.

So I got my Momma's toe in my rib cage, when I see a net these days, I cry and I never go into neighboor's back yards again, except if I have to water their flowers. I like watering flowers.

So when Tony came speeding towards me, I was in my brain all thinking and crying. That boy slammed into me and I went tumbling into a cactus and fell knee first onto a gravel pit, scraping up my knees like a Navajo scalp a Pilgrim. Nasty. I got up, ripped his keyboard from his blow tube and kicked him in the parapalegic jaw. I said, "Boy, I will slam you down so hard your brain will turn back to normal!" And with that, I picked him up out his moped and body slammed him on the rocky terrain.

Tony laid there for five minutes. I tried to make a getaway, but i heard someone speaking. It was Tony! He stood straight up and looked at me. My body slam had cured his parapalegicity! He walked to me and gave me a hug. We french kissed and I felt his butt. It felt very mushy, probably from him sitting in that moped all these years not walking. I told him he needed to go to the gym to get his butt back, and he agreed.

Love,

LR