brangin sexy back

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Listen at me hos. The lady is here and alive. I got my foot caught in a rabbit trap in the park awhile back and had to go live with my Auntie while it healed. She and me had somelong talks up into the wee hours of the midnights...just talking about life and failure and drama and men and Criffer and Gentleman Snatchtastick and all. She told me some insights into my lifes I have never thought of before.

One of them was about love. She said love come and go, but sex come first. And she also say sex come before friends. Always. I ain't never heard that before, but you what? She right. She right. As I sat there holding a bag of, what else, dunkable oreos (love that new shape! And you heard about it first on my podcast, ho!) listening to my Auntie, I realized something. Those dunkable oreos is da bomb, my feet seem to be getting wider and my Auntie is very wise. Which brings me to my point.

Old people is wise.

Not young people. They procrastinate and do stupid stuff like drank and smoke french cigars, wet they pants and give each other diarheas. But not old people. Old people sit around on stoops and talk to each other, read, talk some more, then go to sleep at 2pm in the afternoon. That is wise.

It is not wise to stay up in da club all night inhaling toxic fumes and spendin all yo hard earned money on dranks for men who never give you they number or ask you to dance with they selves. It is also not wise to shave you lady pits, as this will cause stubble and ingrown hairs. That is why I keep mine bushy like a hairnet wadded up in yo hand. You ever held a hairnet wadded up in yo hand? It look like the hair under my arm.

What?

In any case, I am on again off again podcasting these days. Mostly off again, as Chris is not speaking to me right now. He called me out for tellin his friend I wanted the both of theys to invade me one night when we wuz drunk. I mean, invade me spiritually, but they both took it another way and got upset and leaved my apartment. I put my clothes back on and threw a shoe at them as they got on the bus. That was the last time I seen chris. I call him a lot and leave messges, but he don't answer. Maybe he will call back and maybe he will die. I do not know. Only God Jesus know that. Am I right?

Ok, look. I don't promise nothin as far as podcastin go. I am in a sultry angry mood these last months and I might do a show and then again I might eat a magic mushroom and go to crazy town every night of my life until my body turn purple from death and I throw myself off a cliff in Wyoming listenin to the Judds on my tape Walkman singing "Love Can Build a Bridge." I love the Judds, especially the old Momma one. I wish sometimes she was my Momma. We could go to kareoke bars and knock them dead on they faces.

Lady Raptastic is yo girl, ho!!!!