Paper Cutter

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I borrowed a paper cutter from my neighbor Enrita to cut up some invitiations for a party I am giving for a friend. I shall not name the name of the friend because they might read this blog. They do read this blog. Anyways, I am throwing him/her a congratulatory party for passing a very hard test they was studying for two years for. He/she went through heck and back and I am rewarding her with a nice party with food, drinks, a live mariachi band and a light-up dance floor I am having brought in from my friend Zazzy's party rental shop.

The thing is, I was cutting up the invitations and I cut a piece of my ear off. I was getting real close to the board with my face and the phone rang. I swear at the same time it felt like a rattlesnake was up on my back so i turned around quickly. The vase of flowers got knocked over which made the blade come down onto my ear. It's not the whole ear, just the dangly part you stick earings in.

I went to the doctor and he said he could not repair the damage. I said "Who?" He said it was unfixable. I threw the ear at him and ran out.

I went back in and picked up the ear and went to another doctor who fixed it. I went back to the other doctor and showed him. He could not beleive it. I said "Believe it, ho. You a quack." I walked up to the front desk and told them the whole story. They fired him on the spot and bought me dinner and made me sign some piece of paper they said would save my life. I signed it quickly.

People cannot mess with LR!

-LR