Adventure

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I have a bag of taco bell beside me. They need to hire me as they sponsor because I rang they bell far too mch these days. I love me Gordita.

So I am sure y'all heard about the clash between Xtina and Mariah, right? First of all, Xtina got a new album coming out. So, she posed buck doo doo naked on the June GQ, then she diss Mariah, saying at a party in 2001, Mariah yelled at her but it's ok because Mariah was probably "heavily medicated." Please, Xtina. You do not need to start drama to sell albums. I heard yo album is going to be good so stop the drama and sang girl.

I left the house this morning and something did not feel right. I sat down ont he bus and something did not feel right. I went to the bathroom: my underwear was on backwards. I stepped out of them and tried to put them back on, but I slipped on the wet floor (probably a pee puddle) and fell and cracked my head wide open. Blood pouring everywhere. i stand up and run out the bathroom with blood on my head and hands, still clutching my underwear. I run to a waitress (I was in a diner) and she screamed and asked me to leave. I ran to the manager and he told me to get out. I looked in the mirror and I looked like Carrie from the movie Carrie, holding a pair of underwear. I was so embarrassed i said to myself real loud "Lady...put yo drawers back on, get to a hospital yoself cuz these white people will not help you." I put the bloody underwear back on and walked out of the diner....then passed out from the blood loss.

I woke up in intensive care. My head was bandaged and my eyesite was poor. This Italian doctor named Ivan was sitting next to me, holding my hand and asking me questions when I woke up. I reached up and touched his baby smooth face and fingered his curly long hair. I pulled his hair and his beautiful head to me and french kissed him with my tongue going so into his mouth he choked. I could taste some vomit. That's ok. It happens.

He told me to never do that again. I ws so horny from being asleep for so long (and from being doped up on morphine pills) I pulled the sheets off my bed and pulled my hospital gown up over my face.

"Take me...my head wounde is mended but my body has a hole that needs some repair."

He called a nurse in. They sedated me, and pushed my bed into another ward. I fell asleep on the way there.

I woke up and I saw retarded men all around me, strapped to beds, crying and moaning like whales and retarded men. I knew I was in trouble when the nurse come up to my bed. She must have been 90, barely could walk, no teeth and hair down to her butt, unbraided and all white and dead like a walking corpse with hair. I fainted.

I am writing you from the hospital email center. I have to go. Long white haired lady is coming for me. Pray for the Lady.

-LR