12/15/2005

Myspace survey

Someone on myspace sent me this survey. I sent it back out in a bulletin but figured I would post it here too. If you like it, tell yo friends. If you don't, shut up cuz ain't noody care about yo stank self.

1. You have $10 and need to buy snacks at a gas station; what do you buy?:
First of all, wear a large coat with lots of pockets. Second, go in with a friend and have the friend chat Mr Sales Guy up. Third, make a snatch quickly of some Doritos (Cooler Ranch of course-my favorite)- grab as many bags as you can and go down to your local middle school and sell them thangs to them kids for $1 a bag. The more you snatch, the more you make. Take that money, along with the original $10 and go buy you a new blouse. Okkaaayyy!!


2. If you had to be reincarnated as some sort of sea dwelling creature, what would you be?:
I would like to be a Little Mermaid. She is so skinny, got good hair and can sang.

3. Who's your favorite redhead?:
Dennis Rodman

4. What do you order when you're at a pancake house?:
Triple stack with butterscotch and chocolate ships, the Western omellete with extra pot roast, two orders of rye toast with real butter, hash browns covered, smothered and hot and bothered. And a diet coke. And if you kept one of them Doritos bags, eat you one of those while you waiting.

5. Do you own any... naughty toys?:
God gave me ten of them okaaaay!!!

6. Have you made out with anyone on your friend's list:
No. But let me tell you somethin- if ever me and Brian was on a deserted beach I could get up on that tiny white boy and ride like a bullfighter on a donkey. Oleeeeeee!!!!

7. Describe your favorite pair of underwear:
I go tthis pair from Victoria's Secrets with these two butterflies kissing at the middle of the front. On the back they got two alligators holdin hands.

8. Describe the last time you were injured:
Y'all know- I got hit by a car and laid up in the hospital. Drama.

9. Are there any odd things that make you feel uncomfortable?
rubber balls that bounce around so crazy you can't catch thems. Somebody else's barf on the sidewalk. (I feel like I know too much about someone I don't even know when i look at it). Warm tuna salad sitting out too long on a picnic table. Tires. I always think they gonna fall off and hit me.

11. Tell me a weird story from your high school years:
i was on Old E with some friends in an apartment complex hottub and a guy came around with a shotgun and told us to get out. I stood up (I just happened to be naked) and told him to get out of here. He pointed his shotgun at me. I whistled and my pet condor "Lucifer" flew from his perch, grabbed him up by the shoulders and took him off to his nest where (I know) he ate him alive. We refer to that time as "shotgun saturday" and reference it lovingly whenever it comes up.

12. What is the wallpaper on your cell phone?
That photo of Fergie where she peed herself in concert. it makes me laugh.

13. Soda?:
Diet coke

14. Flavor pudding?:
chocolate.

15. What type of shirt are you wearing?
a Nancy kerrigan t-shirt I found at the thrift shop. I thought it was funny. Remeber her? She got beat up by that white trash ho and then cried. Then she was up in that Disney parade and called it stupid. Where is she now? Probably on crack.

16. Prescription medication?:
I am healthy as a baby oxen. No meds.

17. If you could use only one form of transportation for the rest of your life what would it be?
My own personal chaefuuuurrr driven limousine. With black cherries dipped in whipped cream in a mini-fridge and a hamster in a wheel hanging from the ceiling like a disco ball.

18. How many people are on your friends list?
I do not brag. I am a popular ho.

19. How many people on your list do you know in real life?
I met all these hos online. My real friends ain't got the interenet.

20. What are you listening to right now?
A Cyndi Lauper remix by Jermaine Dupri. Apparently he tryin to bring her back like he brough back Mariah. Watch out! Cyndi comin back from the dead.

21. Most recent movie you watched?
Snuck into King Kong. Dang that is a good movie.

22. Name 3 things you have with you at all times:
My purse, my lip liner and my attitude.

23. Would you rather give or receive a foot massage?
Receive baby. I do not touch no mens's feet unless they payin me. That sounds bad. I mean, it would take someone to pay me to touch they feet. I ain't no ho. I am just sayin...never mind. Next question.

24. Name a teacher you had the hots for:
Mr. Bronky, dis white man who taught me high school math. Ooh he was so sexy. He look like Tony Danza on steroids. Girl dis man was ripped. And he's always wear tight button down shirts and tight pants that showed off his good side. One day I stayed after class and offered myself to him. He said no but gave me a french kiss on my mouth so hard he suck the brains through my esauphagus. We never spoke about it again. I was 19 at the time so it was perfectly legal.

25. What is a saying that you use a lot?
Okkkaaaayyyyy!!!

26. What's one piece of advice that you think should be passed?
britney should divorce Kevin, Janet need to lose her weight, Mariah need to stop bein so crazy and Alisa Milano need to do a movie now and then- she too pretty to be just up on the tv.

Bye!

4 Comments:

Anonymous said...

girl give a child some credit. i sent you that survey and you looooooove it!

♥criffer

2:14 AM

 
Anonymous said...

First and foremost who is this broad, and why is she so funny?

5:36 PM

 
Anonymous said...

LMAOOOOOOO!!!!! thys gurl is so funny! she should be a comedian or sumtin. haha cant stop she got me rollin... luv thys

12:26 AM

 
Anonymous said...

Stumbled upon this and thought it was hilarious!! Great Job Lady!

8:04 PM

 

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