Paris Nasty

Check dis mess. Paris Hilton, the ugliest, skinniest white girl since Michael Jackson, got herself a pet monkey...like Michael Jackson. And on Monday the monkey attacked her in a lingerie store. According to my sources, Paris Hilton came out the dressing room in a nasty bra and panties and the monkey got scared and tried to gauge her eyes out. Innocent bystanders cheered on the monkey. That sh** is bananas!

Oh, and what did she buy at the lingerie store? A $4k worth of bras and panties and a bullwhip. Not kiddin. She nasty ain't she? And then later dat night at Kelly "my brother be hot but I'm still fat dangit" Osborne's 21st birthday party hosted by that lingerie store, her monkey escaped. The show stopped for 20 minutes while they looked for it.

(thanksNew York Post for dis story)