Janet Jackson is fat!!

Have mercy! My girl is all big again (remember the Control album? Hello!) I just saw this picture of her and I about dropped my laundry basket. What is Jermaine Dupri feeding that girl? He like his girl big. Look at Mariah. Ooh! Janet was the girl who was knowd for her abs and now look. I guess they are still there...just be under a lot of flab.


(Update: Everybody be coming to this page first instead of the homepage, so I included the poem below from a newer post)

Janet Jackson fat: a poem
By Lady Raptastic

You big as a jelly roll.
How did you lose control?
You as big as all creation
You you're own rythm nation.
It's clear ya ain't been sensible
going overboard with your pleasure principle.
Fat you do compile
As you tell Jermaine "Let's wait awhile."

Janet you better win this fat-butt bout
cuz you got a new album coming out
And I think it will be rather scarry
If you come out bigger than Mariah Carey.
Cuz the two of you be doing a duet
the title of which be "Big Girls" I bet.

Do not get the wrong impression
I like my fruit cake chomping session
Diggin into a cereal box
spreading my bread with jelly and lox
But I got charisma, charma and some vim.
(And a memebership to a decent gym)

You betta step up and go on a run
cuz seein you fat ain't no fun
It's like a bad episode of "Law and Order"
You used to be "Penny" now you a quarter.

I was going to do a haiku but my kimono got eaten by moths in my closet. I only do haiku in that kimono.

And speakin of flab...i went bathing suit shopping. Not for no reason, just cuz I don't have one. It ain't the season I know, but there were still some shops that be havin they stock out. Pictures to come. I had the sales man, Lavert, take some photos of me in the dressin room. I tried on a purple string bikini but it was snug. Then I tried a yellow one-piece. That looked good and stuff. I like that one the best. I bought it. Levert gave me a discount. If you ever go to...what was the name of that store. Oh well, if you ever go to a store and a Lavert be working there, girl, he be very helpful. And he give discounts.

I did my nails today. Rust colored. Then the pinky is of course pink. With a diamond in it. Girl it look good. I got my stuff bangin like a jeep Cherokee. Ooh I love them Jeep Cherokees by the way. I think they are so just masculine! When I see a boy up in one I just get all tingly and ripley and just... mmmm!

Ooh speakin of Mariah, have you heard Shake it Off? I like it. It's not as good as "We Belong Together" though. That was and will be the jam of the year. That sh** is bananas!

Ok a lot of people be talkin bout Kanye. Heres what i got to say. I don't think nobody don't like nobody. Everybdy like everybody so just calm down. I think that FEMUR got they a mess on they hands is what I think. They didn't know what to do cuz well, they just was havin a bad week ok? You ain't never had a bad week? Like when you miss the bus, drop your purse and forget about your diet? Shoot, people in glass houses should not throw them stones ok?