Secrets and the lady done tell them

I was at a house party for Dante mamma graduation from hair school Sunday and I overheards a little birdy yappin. And ooh girl it wuz juicy! I want to share it all with you, but I am of the classy breeding and do not gossip. On line. Call me and we talk.

I had been drinkin all afternoon just having a good old time with Dante people. They crazy some of them (in the good way), but most of them fun and sweet. Me and a couple they cousin got to laughin fits so many times people thought we was high. We were. I chewed on some bbq (that was good and not dry! Finally!), listened to some old school and just chilled all day. It was going great. So relaxing. The sun was shining, the neighboors were not home (or they was hiding in they houses), the kids was splashin around in the kiddee pool someone brought, and I was being checked out by Dante and his friends more than once. I got me a number and gave mine out to...well, that my secret. But if he readin, he know who he be. Hey boy. You cute. You want some all you gotta do is ask and yer shall receive.

Excuse me! I am all hot and bonothered now! Whew! Ok, back to the story at the hand... I was having a grand old Sunday out in the back yard and decide to go up into Dante mamma house for some air conditioning. Her house real old and probably ain't been redecorated in twenty years. But thats what yo mamma house should look like, right? Plastic flowers in cheap ceramic vases, brown furniture with butt prints and the arms all rubbed on, velvet portraits of cat, family photos from Olan Mills turn all yellow (even though the salespeople lie when they selling them to you and tellin you they never yellow)...you know. Mamma house! So I go in and lay down on a bed in a side room. Well, there a bedroom next door to the one I was in, and in that bedroom two lady folk be talking. And girl, they too drunk and too loud for what they chattin about. Mens, pills, secrets, people mammas, babies that ain't theys...If I had a pencil I would have writ it all down and written a scandalous book! Watch out Jackie Collinses!

I heard them walk out and I let out a little giggle. They done heard me and come in my room. They ask what I giggling at. I say, I thought of a funny episode of my stories and it made me laugh. THey ask me if I heard them and I say no. They told me I was lying and start punching at me. Girl I get my crazy strength and throw both they butts off myself and get on up out that house. I found a kid bike and rode it two blocks before the chain broke. The kid momma got in her car and follow me. When she caught up with me, we had words and she won. I tossed the bike in her trunk and we made plans to hang out next weekend cuz she know I good people and I know I'll get that bike back.

Anyways, there a sale at Old navy today girl and Momma need a new short set. Momma bringing the big purse so if you need something I'll pick it up for you with my five-fingered discunt. Okaaaay!!!