On the radio!

Two white girls with a radio show have invited to call in as a featured guest. If you want to hear me talk to a couple white girls who go to a Catholic College, tune in with your face. Below are the details below. Thank you please.

--Tuesday, April 24, 2007
--12-2AM (EST)
--WCUA Radio at The Catholic University of America in Washington, DC
--Show title: "Songs to _____ to with Cara and Catherine"
--Contact the white girls: songstoblankto@yahoo.com

-Lady Raptastic

Suck it. Subscribe.

If you are already subcribed to the Lady Raptastic Show, kudos to you and roses at your feet please. To those who are not subscribed, please take a moment and subscribe through either itunes or by putting the RSS up in your rss reader. Chris told me a good rss reader is netvibes or Google reader.

Why do we want you to subscribe? Because we feel like we making a good show, but nobody is listening. and if nobody is listening, our show will never reach the top at itunes, our show will never get big sponsors and our show will never make the cover of BET magazine. (My dream, not Chris's)

So if you have not did so, get off yo butt, subscribe to the show and let's get the show shot into the stratosphere so I can start making money to pay for new t-shirts for the summer and Chris can buy his stripper girlfriend some underwear. Please.

Suck it. Subscribe.

-LR

75: Richmond Buzz

Episode 75 Show Notes:
Lady and Chris answer questions from The Richmond Buzz. The Lady's Grandma. Black people like old Mercedes. How Chris and Lady met. Change in the purse. Lady has did Chris. The show will not end. Lady on the Surreal Life. Losing weight is private. Where did the lady's babies go? Chris' ear dipped in goal. How podcasts are made. We are the evening news. Tassles. Everybody goes through trouble and come out Drew Barrymore. Tipples. Target sells antiques. Storytelling. Chris sings. Hidia Roach will never return. T-shirts. the shows are good if Lady gets bigger and Chris gets smaller. Moo goes the cow. Chris does not let the lady say goodbye. (LR_75.mp3)

SCALP IMUS

Why do white people think they have the right to call black women "nappy-headed ho's?" Can you please explain this to me please? There is a radio "personality" named Don Imus, who is a very, very old white man, who called the Rutgers women’s basketball team "nappy-headed ho's."

Excuse me please?

This is not right. But luckily we got two of the brightest and the best on the case: Jesse Jackson and Al Sharpton. They want this white HO removed from his position as talking white man. I say let's go a step further.

Scalp him.

Yes. I said it. We need to scalp this man. The Native American Indian people had it right a long time ago. Let's honor their history by allowing some of them off the reservation and having them scalp Don Imus. Who's in this with me?

SCALP IMUS!

74: William Sledd

Episode 74 Show Notes:
Opening from Corey, every goth/punk male who wears dark eyeliner is suicidal, chris offends the drag queens, unexpected rap, money for a photo shoot, word of the day, movie trailer, The final This Day in AIDS, debate on This Day in AIDS, opening monologue: mole crickets, Pine Tree Ice Cream's new ad (They are out sponsor), William Sledd interview (williamsledd.com, Ask a Gay Man on Youtube), remember to listen for the outtakes at the end of the show! (LR_74.mp3)

73: Suck It Unsubscribe

Episode 73 Show Notes:
Fanny Lickendale made the "Are You Gay?" Remix which is the ultimate supreme Sweet Sweet Fantasy to my ear drums, Suck it Unsubscribe, Opening monologue: I like bats, chew, fell off chair, crystal meth vs cars, Man Vs Nature, The Telephone Game, Chris goes over the line with the Lady, Pine Tree Ice Cream (our new sponsor) has a new ad!, This Day in AIDS, Questions Section: chocolate, iguana, ice suit, Santa Claus, Christmas Song for yo face. (LR_73.mp3)

72: African Turkey

Episode 72 Show Notes
science center globe, janitor, pet store, Temp Pimps, photo printer, derth, Hidia makes an apology, do retarded people act normal behind out backs and think it's funny, alternate reality world comparisons, retarded conversation, fill in the blank, shoes, shave, married, African turkey, African turkey scene with Bernice, Lady and Chris rap after the theme song (LR_72.mp3)

Kevin loves me, please

Kevin aka "Downtown Kevin Brown" wrote a dang sweet blog post about lil old big me. Please go take a look, leave him a comment, and show some love to a ho who love movies.

Speaking of movies, people ask me, "Lady, what movies do you recommend right now?" And I tell them to they face, "Nothing." And they ask me to my face, "Why?" And I tell them to they face, "Cuz I ain't seen nothin." And they say "Oh."

I was walking today because I had to go deliver a package through Fed Ex for a friend. They left they train ticket here and they are right as we speak, in Botswana. Apparently, they bought the ticket before they left on vacation and didn't remeber to brang the ticket. So, they will be stuck in Botswana, unable to take they train to whatever town is on their itinerrrrrrrrrary next, unless I took the ticket to Fed Ex. The lady at the counter was very nice, but she smelled like food. I asked her what she ate. She said she hadn't eaten anythang all day. I was all, um, ok, please. You smell like food. And she said, oh that's not me, that's my underwear. I left my clean clothes downstairs last night. My husband owns a deli and it's downstairs below where we live. I went downstairs to slice some meat for lunch today, and left the clean laundry I was carrying.

Please shut up. But no, she kept talkin.

So then I got the sandwich and went to bed. I wake up this morning. No clean undies for my bum bum?

Yo what?

So I looked all around the house, under the dining room table above the washer and dryer and in the kids room. Sometimes they like to take my laundry and dress up in it.

Yo what?

So I finally remembered where it was, and by that time, everything in the basket smelled like food! I bet you didn't expect this story!

Yo what?

And that is why the lady smelled like food. The end. I am a good story teller please.

-LR

Courtland loves me, ho!

Courtland, a old friend of da show, made a delicious video in which he feature a part of the episode where I take him to task. It's called "Courtland Schooled." Imagine, having your own Lady Raptastic episode all about you. I should have charged him money. Dang. Anyways, please watch da video of him talking about me and where he plays my show. He is very easy on the eyeballs and at one point, a photo flashes on the screen in which he has no shirt. Hello? Glow!

71: One Two Punch

Episode 71 Show Notes, ho:
Intro song by Fanny Lickendale (thank you Fanny!), on being a black woman, cooking with Lady Raptastic, This Day in Aids, new sponsor's ad makes Chris mad, clearing up the dying at 80 issue, repeated toenail question, the Lady is a vegetarian, scandalous high schoolers, look to the left if you lie, lucite box plus giant crane plus Times Square equals Fantasy, neice in my papoose, Psych Test for spontaneous thought and a low IQ, Jesus means death (LR_71.mp3)